Oh no she better don't!

Last night I was lucky enough to go see Mariah Carey on her ‘Adventures of Mimi’ Tour. She had one stop in Oakland for her tour and boy are we glad she did! Thanks to this lovely girl I contacted through Craigslist, I scored some 12th row floor seats at cost so my Russian accomplice (Pavel) and I have been anxiously awaiting the big night for weeks. Now that it was finally here we got our best dresses pressed and hit the freeway over to Oakland with a bottle of champagne and two plastic champagne flutes. Mimi loves champagne so we figured it was not too early to get into the spirit and started right on the bay bridge.

Arriving at the Oakland Coliseum its clear we are not in the West Bay anymore, lots of interesting hairdos and outfits. One girl actually dyed half of her head yellow and the other side orange. The yellow side had been left hanging straight down… well, as straight as damaged dead hair can be, and the orange side was put into a side pony tail like what people did in the 80’s. I think this is the worst hairdo I have ever seen … EVER… and I have been around and out and about quite a bit. We make our way down to the floor and the opening act is already putting on some kind of show. Some black guy who calls himself Buster Rhymes is up on stage yelling with some other little black twerp. They have on matching outfits so they somewhat resemble Tweedledee and Tweedledum from Alice in wonderland. Only they look more like drag queens as their red shirts are so big they could be dresses and they are overloaded with sparkling bling bling bracelets and necklaces. While the two things on stage yell, white girls in the stands are swinging their hair around along with their junk in the trunk and shove down hot dogs. I am just glad these girls are finally getting some exercise. I think this is the worst concert I have ever seen… EVER… and I have seen a lot of concerts.

While waiting for Mimi to take the stage we head up to get some more drinks and a bite to eat. While waiting in the long line we befriend these two hot chicks that are visiting from Los Angeles. They flew up here on a private jet with some 65 year old sugar daddy to see the show. The line really is taking forever so we have lots of time to exchange stories on how we all have put out for old men just to get things like …well never mind. When we finally get to the front of the line all that’s on the menu is hot dogs and nachos. Is that all people eat in Oakland? They aren’t serving any beer because it’s warm and to top it all off there is more bad hair. WTF!? The bad hair sends us to another long line that has cold beer. So we decide to cut the line, I don’t care about the dirty looks from the badly dressed people, I want my damn beer and preferably before the show starts. The bartenders are slow as molasses but they sure were quick to throw us out of line. Then we try to complain to the management about the bad service but they so were not having it, lazy fucks! Good service is so hard to find these days! We went looking for beer and all I ended up with were LA hookers. By the time we get our drinks Mimi is on her way out so we bid farewell to our new friends and head back down to the floor.

I have always been a big Mariah Carey fan but this was the first time I have ever seen her live. Last night only made me love her more because she looks amazing and sounds even better. I feel like most of these big pop stars never sound very good live but Mimi is definitely an exception to the rule. She stands up there looking as hoochie as ever, hair blowing perfectly from the wind machine, takes her microphone from the stand covered in sparkling jewels and effortlessly hits the low to the high notes as only she can, WOW! The woman really is amazing, we are all very fortunate to have her here with us. Just the chance to hear one of the most talented singers and songwriters of our time made all the bad hair, food and company worth every penny. May Mariah live long and continue to share her gifts.