Friday, October 26, 2007

 

The Summer of Bears and Hearts


Dear faithful readers, Apologies for having not updated my blog in months. I have no better excuse other than the lame excuse of procrastination and being very busy. So busy, I even was able to land a new job and get involved with a fantastic ski group for the winter season! Just because I haven’t had any blog updates does not mean that I haven’t been having any fun. I was so busy having fun all summer I hardly had time to work or update this blog, but this update should bring you up to speed.

My Russian Accomplice and I kicked off summer with a bang in New York City for a weekend of dining, drinking, dancing, shopping and Broadway shows. He was able to negotiate a complimentary suite at the St. Regis Manhattan (he’s not my number one travel buddy for no good reason!) so when we weren’t out touring the city we had a very comfortable place to rest. Friday night was especially fun, we went to a very large well known gay nightclub where it turned out I knew the DJ. He spotted us on the dance floor and said “Thank god the California boys are here. They are the only ones that know how to have any fun!” He invited us to the VIP room with an entire hosted bar where we could drink with all our friends for free in the company of other fine specimens. While it was very fun while it lasted, we might have had a little too much to drink. The night (or the morning after) ended in a bizarre quartet of us getting thrown out of The W Times Square for trying to buy drugs off the large black doorman following a strange hookup with a Bi-curious Canadian and his girlfriend who had shaved her pubes shaved in the shape of a heart.

Our next adventure was down to sunny southern California where Pavel hooked us up with some fancy hotel in Beverly Hills….Rolls Royce’s and Bentleys lined up out front. The lady at the front desk instantly took a liking to us, comped our parking and sent margaritas to our room every night. We had a wonderful time enjoying the city with some very cool parties in the Hollywood hills, Paramount Studios and late night dance clubs. The hotel staff continued to love us and shower us with cocktails until I crashed my rented Hyundai into the wall. After that, they said I couldn’t keep the keys anymore and didn’t send any more drinks. That’s ok, we were about to check out anyway as we were invited pool party overlooking the city by some guy that lived next door to Johnny Depp. As much as I love LA, I was excited to return to San Francisco… here I don’t have to worry about crashing into a Bentley.

Next up was a wild weekend in Fire Island. Those New York City boys sure are frisky… I had a different guy each night… very strange for me. I usually have three hookups in one year, but three in one weekend was almost too much to handle. Especially considering the first one tricked me into having a three way with his gasian housemate. This hunk from Chicago said his housemate would go to bed once we got home. As soon as we got into the kitchen they both started ripping off my clothes…I gave them a look of confusion and they said “Surprise! roommates who stay together play together.” I normally don’t do gasians, but just to be polite since I was a guest in their home, I made a minimal effort and got out of there as soon as possible.

Mid August always brings Lazy Bear Weekend in Russian River. I’m not really into bears but Russian River is one of my favorite summer hangouts and they do have a great party so why not join the fun. I should have known I was in for trouble when the week before when two old bear coworkers of mine cornered me at the ferry building while I was enjoying lunch. Being the social creature I am I asked them if they were planning to attend bear weekend as well. They said that the bears will want to put donuts on my nipples and drizzle me in honey hoping to go for a dip in my honey pot. Yeah right!! I loaded up the Russian Accomplice and my good buddy AJ into my Saab and we headed north to the river. After copious drinking in the sun on Saturday we headed out to the bear bar for more fun. Now unless you were there to see this, you wouldn’t really know that they actually have big hairy go-go bears dancing around in g-strings and that they enjoy honey flavored shots that come of ice filled tubes. I think it was those strange shots that really put us over the edge because we were eventually ejected from the bar for being worse behaved than the hairy animals.

That’s all for now folks… I must rush home and pack as I am leaving for New York tonight with the Russian Accomplice to celebrate Halloween big apple style. Wishing you all well… and even if your adventures end tragically like all of mine here… in my opinion, having no adventure is even more of a tragedy, so get out there!

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