Oh no she better don't!

Next year I think I am going to throw my 31st birthday party at the Mountain Vista Farm up in Sonoma County. Since 1949 Mountain Vista Farm has offered hope and help to those suffering from alcohol and drug problems. Reason being is because I had a rather rowdy 30th birthday party over this last weekend and I think we might have drank a little too much. When cleaning up our rental house last night I was just amazed at how many bottles of various things we managed to empty. 20 of us were up there for not even a whole 2 days and we put away over 10 bottles of designer vodka, 3 bottles of tequila, 3 cases of beer, one pony keg, over two cases of champagne and countless bottles of wine. Additionally, we were drinking even more than that when we were not at the house.

I read an article online a while back about national alcohol consumption, the average person in San Francisco actually consumes more alcohol than any other area of the United States. I think it might be possible that just my friends drink enough to push up the average over New York, Miami, Los Angeles and even Las Vegas. A certain few of my peers went on a cruise last summer and apparently the passengers drank the ships entire stock of vodka, the boat even had to pull over in order to get more. One of the staff members on the boat mentioned to my friend that this ship had sold more at the bar in three days than most cruise ships sell in over a month. There is a bit of a trend going on here.

As I sit here feeling awful after two days of debaucheries, I am wondering to myself… how did my hair get soaked in lube? How did those Calvin Klein boxer briefs end up on that lamp? Will the hired maintenance get all the wine and pepperoni out of the Jacuzzi? Maybe we really do have a problem? So I went online and found a short screening test to help people determine if they might have a problem or not. I failed this exam with flying colors; it suggested I seek further assessment and professional help. Great…just what I wanted to hear.

I’m sure my friends and I would have a wonderful time together at the Mountain Vista Farm as I can have fun with them just about anywhere. But I don’t think they have a problem, and I don’t really want to them to change. I was especially proud of their resourcefulness when they dumped an entire bottle of Absolute into that morning’s leftover fruit salad and then poured that whole mix into a blender to make quite possibly the worst drink ever. I wasn’t even about to drink any but I did love watching them all enjoy it together. I love them drunk and sober, high and low, wet and dry, hot and cold. No matter what they do, I will always take pride in knowing quite possibly the best drunks in the business.