Oh no she better don't!

I had an interesting visit to the wine country on Sunday. Thank goodness these aren’t places we don’t want to return to anytime soon as I am not sure they would want us back. As a fun outing surrounding my birthday weekend, 6 of us decided to explore a wine region not too far from where I had rented our house for the weekend. After a long champagne breakfast followed by champagne out on the back porch we jumped in the car to head over to Westside Road. This area is known as the Russian River Valley and Westside Road has around 15 wineries that usually produce delicious pinot noirs and chardonnays.

Our first stop was Roshambo Vineyards… Very cool place. My group being a little tipsy already had too much but isn’t that what wine tasting is all about? We had some trouble ordering the wines, spilled wine on the people next to us and sent glasses crashing to the floor. After laughing hysterically we finally pull it together and finish our flight. I pick up a few bottles of Rose and a case of red and move my group on to our next stop.

Next we decide to stop at Belvedere Vineyards, this place was probably my favorite of the three we visited. A short man with a pot belly and 49ers earrings is pouring wine for us today. I especially liked this guy because he only carded me in the whole group. It feels good to look like the youngest, especially when I was traveling with two 25 year olds. We begin tasting the wines when Pavel starts acting up. My Russian accomplice is usually very well behaved but this particular time he had too much and needed to stop drinking. So I take a handful of corks and we all start throwing them at him in an effort to calm him down. After a few minutes of cork throwing corks between taking sips of their delectable wines Pavel decides one of the corks would work well as a butt plug. He jams it down the back of my Diesel Jeans and into my crack as far as it will go. I cant possibly be tasting wines with a cork in my anus so I pull the cork out and put it back on the counter. As I see Mr. 49er Earrings watch in horror I decide its time for us to go on to our next stop so the other tasters can stop dodging flying corks. I pick up a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and head out with my possie.

The next stop was probably my least favorite. Once we walked in to Davis Bynam this rude gentleman behind the counter took one look at us and refused to serve two of us. I knew then that this stop wasn’t going to be very long. Finally he asked us to leave…. I guess it didn’t matter that they caught one of my friends urinating in a bush as we were already on our way out. I’m glad he pissed on their bush, they were rude and the wine wasn’t that good anyway. I still picked up two bottles, its only the polite thing to do.

Even if we were a little rowdy, we bought something at every stop. Aren’t these wineries in business to make money? If these people don’t want my business I will go find another vineyard who does! Wish me luck!! :-)