Oh no she better don't!

This past weekend was one of my best girlfriends wedding up in Napa (same girl that I went to Cabo for her bachelorette party). Nicole and Olivier got married and had a wonderful reception at the Clos Du Val winery. Its probably one of the nicest wedding parties I have ever attended and it was a good time to be had by all. However one thing happened that I still to this hour cannot believe people can be so tacky.

Sitting in the large dining tent next to my date David and Tami a friend from high school they both asked me who was throwing corks at us. I had not seen the flying corks yet so I said I had no idea. Then one of the corks hit me! I look over at the big table next to us and there are two badly dressed obese women giggling and pretending like they don’t know what happened. I decide not to play this game so I just ignored it. Then a few minutes later I was standing up and these chicks threw a fork at me. YES…Threw a fork at my body! Even though they may not know that my esthetician recommends no flying objects at my face, throwing forks is still uncalled for.

Now to give you an idea of what this girl was like, this chick was trashy… she was wearing a halter top with tattoos on her arm to a formal function. Anyone with any class would know that this is the time you should cover up your tattoos. I don’t care whose baby daddy’s name it is, nobody wants to see it!

By this time in the night I am drunk enough so I throw the fork back at them. Granted it’s not very classy on my part but if she is going to throw silverware at people she better be prepared to get silverware thrown back. After I aggressively returned their fork I went back to my conversation and wine. All of the sudden my Riedel Crystal glass of cabernet explodes in my hand, wine and glass goes flying all over me and my friend. This bitch threw a table candle at us! Not only was the cabernet all over my brand new suit but the glass could have gotten in my eyes!

I marched right up to her and said: “Missy, I don’t know what side of the tracks you are from, but that wine glass costs more than your dress!” Then she claimed it was an accident. Whatever! I am not even sure these girls were really invited to the wedding. They might have been wedding crashers and chose to pick on my because I was so well dressed and with the best looking girls at the party. Fat chicks are becoming more and more unruly these days and need to be stopped. Think twice before you invite them to your parties, Not only will they eat everything in sight, they will probably harass your other guests. Having them around is not a good move!