Oh no she better don't!

What is the significance of being 86ed you must be wondering? This is actually a term that’s used in the service industry for when someone is thrown out of a particular establishment like a bar or restaurant. Now I pride myself on being on good behavior at all times… every now and then I might get a little wild but who doesn’t? For the most party every time I have 86ed I have been wrongfully accused of something, and there is nothing worse than being wrongfully accused.

First time I can remember was at the Cala Foods in Nob Hill. It was way back, I was probably 20 and I was doing some late night shopping with one of my hags. Granted, I had probably taken too many puffs on my pipe before hitting the supermarket but that had nothing to do with me getting thrown out. So I live in Nob Hill around lots of chinese, and the chinese do love their catfish. So they had live catfish in a big tank by the front door and fresh fish section. Upon entering the store I noticed the fish tank and there was one giant catfish in the tank. Now I quite enjoy all animals so I stopped to look at the fish for a second, they are all gods creatures too. The first thing I notice is this catfish is wild… its so wild and crazy it looks like its about to jump out of the tank. Being the caring human that I am, I notify the brainless security guard that the fish is about to jump. He just blows me off, tells me that the fish is not going to jump. I continue with my shopping, and while waiting for my hag to finish I go back to checking out the fish. What else am I going to do just waiting at the door? Sure enough the fish jumps out on the tank and is flapping around on the floor in a puddle in front of me. I am so startled that this fish jumped at me I let out this horrid scream. Of course the security guy comes running over and sees me and the wild catfish…I could not have looked more red handed. But there was almost nothing I could say. He just grabbed me by the arm and threw me out the front door… saying that I could never come back in there again. It was official, I had been thrown out of the supermarket… How tragic!

A few years later a buddy of mine are down at Jazz Fest in New Orleans… it was late, we were very drunk (who can blame me for being drunk in the big easy? They practically force booze down your throat) and we wanted a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat with a side of fries. Adam and I hop into this little late night corner diner and grab two spots at the counter. There is a black man in this cute little apron and chef hat cooking on the grill. We sit and wait patiently for service for quite some time… so we try to get someones attention. This chef man starts giving us very evil looks and all of the sudden he just grabbs some raw ground beef and just throws it at us. He looked like he wanted to chop us up with his metal spatula and have us for dinner. Then he just yells GET OUT! We were so scared we just ran. I have not a clue why this happened, but again, wrongfull accused!! I just wiped off the fatty beef and found another place to eat.

Back in the Big Easy a few years later for Halloween fun. Pavel and I get thrown out of a restaurant by a man dressed as a nun during lunch time. So maybe we were a little trashed even at noon, but we didn’t do anything wrong. A few hours later feeling fed up with being wrongfully accused and twice as drunk … I decide we should go back for dinner and give that nun a visit. Hello, nuns are supposed to be a symbol of love and peace. The nun was not very happy to see us ( big surprise there ) and yelled again for us to get out. Rather than just give in to this rude behavior and bad service we just sat down, and told that nun we wouldn’t leave until he served us. We had to yell our orders a across the room for him to listen but he finally did.

Listen up folks… if you ever get 86ed, don’t give in. Stand up for your right to dine and shop! Since the catfish incident I have returned to the Cala Foods with dignaty and the manager just loves me. Who wouldnt like to see me with my naturally blonde hair and whitened teeth? My next stop is going to be back in New Orleans to pay that nun a visit and get a burger at the corner diner.